Fearless Networking – Is It Really Possible for You?

Want to Become a Fearless Network Marketer? Want to possess that feeling that you are invincible, ten feet tall and bulletproof and able to prospect AND enroll anyone you decide to speak with? Want to have the self-confidence that attracts others to you like a magnet? Want to let rejection roll off your back like it never happened? Want to possess the personal power that literally guarantees that your success and the success of those who join you is inevitable?

All this and more is possible if you possess a rock solid belief in your income opportunity, your company, your products, and most importantly, yourself.

In fact, when you possess extreme confidence in yourself, it is quite easy to gather the evidence needed to be able to speak confidently about our profession of network marketing, the company you’ve decided to join with and the products and opportunity you represent. It all starts with the #1 ingredient essential for manifesting your tremendous success and realizing the happiness, fulfillment, peace of mind, and satisfaction that accompanies it:  Self-Esteem.

Fearless networking as a result of possessing extreme self-esteem is about feeling good about yourself in four key areas:

1)    Your ability to influence others. When you can persuade others to see the same value in your income opportunity and the company and products that make it possible, you will possess the personal power to attract them to your business. Knowing that you have this ability to create rich value for your prospects while listening through their objections without taking their concerns and fears personally or being attached to them ‘getting in’ will give you the confidence to prospect anyone with the knowledge that if they knew what you know about your opportunity, they’d surely want in. When you feel confident about your ability to make a compelling case for your prospects to join you, they will sense your unshakable belief and be attracted to you as a business partner and sponsor.

Your ability to influence others also applies to your role as a coach and mentor. Your team looks to you for guidance, insights, coaching, and problem solving. To best evaluate how you measure up in these areas, ask yourself “Would you want you as your sponsor, partner and mentor?” If not, what elements are missing that would allow you to gain in personal effectiveness and the ability to influence others and bring about a result?

2)    Your competence and ability to produce your intended results that move your business and life forward with velocity! When you know instinctively that your ultimate success is inevitable, this vision of your success will create the self-motivation to do whatever it takes to bring about that success as a self-fulfilling prophesy. You expect to be successful and so your actions are in alignment with this expectation. Any problems that you encounter on the way to the accomplishment of your goals look like temporary challenges that you will confidently solve as you progress along the path to realizing your objectives. Nothing can stop you because you know that your ultimate success is guaranteed. You know you have or will get access to whatever is needed to overcome all obstacles. You are not attached to anyone needing to join your business because you know that motivated business builders and leaders await your discovery. You are confident about your ability to make others great and coach them to step into leadership and achieve success. As a result, you prospect with a posture of competent personal power, not neediness, doubt, or scarcity. You are offering others a true gift and those who join your team are indeed fortunate to receive such a gift. Your energy is attractive and charismatic. It is never insecure or desperate and your prospects sense this and it is attractive to them. The possibility of failing or quitting does not even enter your mind as your expectation is that you will be wildly successful. This expectation gives you the fearless self-confidence to manifest it deliberately.

3)    Your significance to others. Because you live and act deliberately in your business, you are well aware of the qualities that characterize your being. You acknowledge your strengths and work to improve upon any weaknesses. You do not react with anger and later beat yourself up over unfortunate actions that strain or destroy your relationships. You do not wallow in self-pity or linger in a state of sadness or depression because of faulty interpretations that do not support your personal power, happiness, or business success.  You take responsibility for seeing the glass always as overflowing (not just half full) and know that it is up to you to ensure that this always be so. You know that abundance is your birthright and that you are on the path to claiming this right. You command the affection, appreciation, and attention of others because of the person you are. You are important to others because you live moment by moment from your declaration that proclaims…I am a powerful, charismatic, abundant, and contributing leader who possesses the ability to alter lives with my opportunity. Others ‘get’ who you are, respect you as a leader and love and appreciate you as a person, friend, mentor, and coach.

4)    How you see yourself from a moral perspective. You conduct all your business dealings with integrity and virtue. You walk your talk, honor others, and leave them whole in your communication. Your actions are sourced in love and guided by wisdom rather than fear and anger. You give up your right to invalidate yourself or live according to any disempowering past evidence that makes you small, incapable, or a victim. Knowing that perfection is not possible, you forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive others when they err. You do what is necessary to clean up any mistakes, apologize to those you’ve hurt, and recommit to doing better next time. You have empathy for what it is like in other people’s worlds. This means that, although you might not agree with or condone their behavior, you have an appreciation for the fact that everyone does the best they can do consistent with how they see the world and others. You believe in your ability to impact others and be a force for good in the world.

Fearless networking can be summed up in our relationship to three concepts. These are:

1)    Commitment
2)    Problems
3)    Responsibility

When we possess crystal-like clarity about what our commitments are, we can consciously return ourselves to honoring them. This is particularly important when we are tempted to take the path of convenience instead. Convenience might look like the decision to NOT prospect someone for fear of rejection, fear of not being liked, or the desire to look good (and not look bad.) In our network marketing business, we can envision ourselves as progressing down a road that offers us many opportunities to choose. We can make decisions that either support our commitments, goals, and vision of success…or make choices that lead us away from these. The more we become accustomed to making decisions that align with our commitments instead of our fears, the easier it will be to do so again and again. Before long, we will have developed the fearless habit of selecting the path of heart instead of the path of convenience.

Fearless networkers are not fazed by problems. They see problems as opportunities for breakthroughs in their businesses and lives rather than bad and to be avoided at all costs. With this powerful relationship to problems, fearless networkers have the ability to take risks, instead of playing it safe. Rather than doing whatever is necessary to avoid the likelihood of a problem arising, they step into the unknown, welcome and embrace problems, knowing that new insights and greater wisdom await them on the other end of tackling the challenge.

Fearless networkers accept responsibility for everything that shows up in their business. They realize that responsibility does not infer blame or fault. It means that they come from the interpretation that they somehow attracted whatever is showing up around them. Because they have attracted it, they also have the power to attract something different if they do not like what they see. Fearless networkers know that the world is an abundantly rich storehouse of everything they need to overcome any obstacle and manifest all their dreams. Responsibility requires creativity, communication, self-examination, and belief in one’s ability (with the support of coaches and partners) to solve any challenge and produce a result simply by identifying what elements might be missing to bring about the desired outcome. Responsibility means giving up the right to be rejected, invalidated, stopped, or disempowered.

Fearless networking requires a commitment to lifelong personal development. It recognizes that there will always be new lessons to learn that will support us to grow in love, empathy, and wisdom. Because of this, there is nothing to fear, only much to learn and gain. Success is about being in love with the process, day in and day out. Fearless networkers know that there is no arriving, no accomplishment that will finally make them worthy and allow them to achieve ultimate satisfaction. They know that their decision to contribute to others with the gift of network marketing is a noble and worthy one.

When you conduct your business and lead your life from the perspective that you are clear about the value you offer and confident about your ability to champion others to realize their dreams, you possess an awesome power that translates into extreme success. This attitude can transform you or anyone you know into a fearless champion of others, confident of their ability to impact lives with the gift of network marketing.

7 Key Ways Scarcity Sabotages Networking

SCARCITY MENTALITY is prevalent in society. We see it all around us, from cutthroat competition and hoarding, to rising heating costs and gas prices. But did you ever stop to think that scarcity may be keeping you from networking success? As a business coach working with hundreds of business owners, I’ve found that the number one reason people don’t get the networking results they want is due to scarcity thinking.

Here’s the crux of the issue: scarcity is more than the belief that there’s not enough to go around . The ultimate scarcity is resisting who you are.This phenomenon occurs repeatedly in people who struggle with networking. Scarcity silently sabotages goals, results , and success. It keeps us from bringing our
best selves to the networking experience. This article will show you how.

Seven key illusions
I have identified seven key illusions, or indicators , of scarcity mentality that hold us back during networking. Are any of these illusions hampering your networking efforts?

The illusion of not enough. “I’m not good at small talk. ”This illusion is characterized by the belief that who you are isn’t enough, so you need more — more information, more time, and more education. This illusion brings about a fear that you have nothing interesting to say and nobody will want to talk to you.

The illusion of comparisons. “If I could just be like Jim, I’d be a better networker.” This illusion causes you to look outside of yourself for validation , acceptance, and approval from others. We model ourselves after people we think we should be like, instead of being like ourselves, which is more appealing. This illusion makes you fear that you can’t be a successful networker because you’re not as outgoing as your co-worker.

The illusion of struggle. “Networking is too much work.” People stuck in this illusion make things harder than they have to be, resist opportunities coming to them, and are typically distracted by over achieving.
This is exemplified by treating networking as hunting, not farming. This illusion makes you believe that unless you give your business card to every single person in the room, you won’t be a successful networker.

The illusion of time. “I’ll try networking when I have more time.” This illusion keeps us stuck in the past with bad experiences, or holding out for the future, thereby missing the opportunity of what we can do today. This illusion gives you a fear that because your last networking experience was less than perfect
it means networking isn’t for you.

The illusion of control. “I can’t go into a room where I don’t know anybody. ”This illusion convinces us that all conditions, timing, and opportunities must be perfect before we can act. Perfectionism runs rampant in this illusion. This illusion fuels the idea that if your co-worker is unable to go to the mixer with you,
you won’t go either.

The illusion of hope. “If I show up at a networking event , I’ll get more clients.” Hope is a source of scarcity when it keeps us waiting for someone or something else to make things happen for us,
instead of doing what we can do. You can have the best product or service in the world, but if no one knows about it, you won’t have any sales. This illusion has you hoping that going to a mixer, but doing none of the prep a ration and re s e a rch to maximize your opportunities at the event,will get you business.

The illusion of certainty. “If I knew I’d get business, I’d go.” People who struggle with this illusion need to know an outcome before they can do something. Life does not come with a money – back guarantee. The more prep a red you are, the greater confidence you will have about your ex p e r i e n c e. This illusion makes you fear that you won’t know anyone, and you will spend the whole evening holding the wall up, looking like a fool.

Did you see yourself in one or more of these illusions? Don’t worry. There is a solution. Successful networkers are abundant networkers.

The first step you must do to transition to an abundant networker is to realize that each of the illusions keeps you from doing what you can do. They keep you playing small, and they keep you scared or intimidated. Most importantly, the illusions keep you from expressing yourself and that is an essential skill
of abundant networking.

The next step is to identify which illusions are strongest for you. When you think of networking, what do you say to yourself? A re you excited or are you filled with dread? Those feelings point toward your scarcity.

Once you’ve identified a networking fear, you need to ask yourself:
● What is this fear grounded in? What evidence or proof do I have that this is real for me? (99.9 percent of the time, you will have no evidence whatsoever.)

● How does thinking this way serve me? (Most likely, you will quickly realize that your thinking is just fear and you can make a conscious choice to think and act differently in a way that serves you better.)

These two questions are simple, yet powerful. They provide the awareness you need to move from scarcity thinking to abundant thinking.

Let’s explore abundance a little bit further. In addition to having the ability to be who they are in the world, abundant networkers embody the following aptitudes:
● self worth— they understand and demonstrate, with a quiet confidence, that who they are is more than enough
● effectiveness— they prepare for networking events in advance, such as asking for introductions , creating goals of who they want to meet, and utilizing business cards , contact management software, and name tags
● self expression— they know how to talk about what they do and how they add value; they are not stalled by the question “what do you do?”
● actualization— they practice the art of engagement, not only going to networking events but following up to build longterm relationships that bring referrals
and countless other benefits
● surrender— they let go of seeking a quick fix, understanding that relationship building is a process that takes time, energy, and attention
● significance— they do what they can, consistently and with energy and enthusiasm, understanding that the power of networking is in being yourself when it matters most (which is all the time!)
● inquiry— they are naturally curious and interested in the people they meet, and adept at listening and utilizing questions to draw others into conversation.

Abundant networkers seek to build relationships rather than complete transactions . They see people they
haven’t met as future friends instead of strangers . Networking events are full of possibilities, not threats. Abundant networkers have a networking plan and strategy instead of just showing up and winging it. They understand that what they put out into the world will come back to them, directly and indirectly. Most importantly, remember this: People in scarcity see the cup as half empty. Positive thinkers see the cup as
half full. But people in abundance see the cup as overflowing. Which kind of networker are you?

Networking, a Soft Science? Only to College Professors!

Recently, I had lunch with the President of a Southern California University along with his Dean for the School of Business. We spoke about many things but, he specifically wondered what I thought the school could be doing better to teach students graduating from his University. My answer was easy – “start teaching courses on networking, social capital and/or emotional intelligence.”

He asked me “why?”  I told him that if you ask the average business person or entrepreneur what one of the most important ways to build their business is, they will almost always tell you “networking or word of mouth. So, if networking is so important, why aren’t we teaching it?  I told him that “social capital (which is the study of resources developed through personal and professional relationships) and emotional intelligence (sometimes called EQ for emotional quotient) are key factors to the successful interaction of people with one another.  I suggested that often people may get hired because of their “IQ” but they will get promoted because of their “EQ.  All of these subjects have a strong influence on someone’s success and there is a wealth of research being developed in each of those areas.

The President looked to his Dean for the School of Business and asked him what he thought. The Dean looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “my professors would never teach that material here!  I asked him “why” and he said, “it’s all soft science.”

Soft science! Teaching people how to interact with people in an effective way is “soft science! I should not have been surprised. I’ve run into this many times before with college professors in the past. I was just amazed that this progressive university would take such a position.

We give people bachelor’s degrees in marketing, business, and even entrepreneurship, but we teach them hardly anything about the one subject that virtually every entrepreneur says is critically important to their business – networking and social capital. Why don’t business schools teach this subject? I think it’s because most business schools are made up of professors who’ve NEVER owned a business in their life! Almost everything they’ve learned about running a business they’ve learned from books and consulting. Well, I’ve read a fair number of books, I was a consultant for many years, and I’ve run my own business for more than two decades. I can tell you first hand that if you haven’t actually owned a business, you have a handicap in teaching a course involving entrepreneurship.

Can you imagine a law course taught by someone who’s not an attorney, or an accounting course taught by anyone without direct accounting experience? Yet we put business professors in colleges to teach courses related to marketing and entrepreneurship with little or no first hand experience in the field. Is it any wonder then that a subject that is so critically important to business people would be so completely missed by business schools? Of course not. Networking and social capital courses aren’t taught in business schools because most business professors aren’t practitioners. They don’t really understand the importance of this subject for entrepreneurs. Granted, there was little written in the field of networking and social capital twenty years ago (do a literature search – you’ll see), but that is not the case today. There are hundreds of articles and many books on various facets of the area. A thorough bibliography of many of these articles and books can be found in the back of The World’s Best Known Marketing Secret (Revised Edition).

Networking is a field that is finally being codified and structured. Business schools around the world need to wake up and start teaching this curriculum. Schools like any large institution are bureaucracies, so it is unlikely to happen quickly; however, for those schools with vision, foresight, and the ability to act swiftly (sort of the way business professors claim that “businesses should act), they will be positioning themselves as leaders in education by truly understanding and responding to the needs of today’s businesses. These schools will be on the cutting edge of business education so as to better serve their students while positioning themselves as a leading institution for entrepreneurs.
Word-of-mouth marketing works. Social capital is critically important. And networking is the mechanism to develop both. As more universities and colleges open their doors to professors who want to include this strategy with their marketing instruction, we are going to see a major shift in the business landscape. We will see emerging entrepreneurs who will be equipped with another strategy for success in business. We will see networking utilized at its fullest capacity and we will see business schools actually teaching a subject that the business practitioner says is important.

If that doesn’t happen, the private sector will once again step up to the plate and fill the gap for the lack of practical education provided by universities. Just look at sales training. Colleges totally miss the boat on this subject which has created an “after degree” market in sales training done by people like Brian Tracy (www.briantracyuniversity.com). I predict the same will happen for networking and referral marketing with organizations like the Referral Institute (www.referralinstitute.com).

By the way, at the end of the conversation during that lunch, I asked the Dean about courses on “leadership”.  I said, “how are courses on leadership any less of a ‘soft science’ than networking”  He didn’t have an answer. What a surprise.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!

The Gift of Thoughtfulness (Is a Gift to Yourself)

Thoughtfulness. Yes, a simple enough concept; yet not always easy to practice. Once mastered, however, it is the greatest gift you can give; and not just to friends and loved ones on special occasions and holidays… but to everyone, ALWAYS. And, as you establish yourself as thoughtful to others, they’ll go out of their way to please you back.

Thoughtfulness is a habit; internalized, it becomes a way of life, a part of our being. But it does take practice. Where do we start? Our daily life. Here are some good practice exercises. Do this for 21 days, as that’s how long it takes to form a new habit (actually, we don’t “form” new habits as much as we “replace” old, ineffective ones).

Thoughtful people don’t wait, they “create” opportunities to make life brighter and more enjoyable for those around them.

But, how? Simple things. Holding the door open for anyone near you, regardless of gender or appearance. Soon, it’s automatic, and even comes with a smile (and a smile back in return). When a baby in a restaurant is making a bit more noise than is comfortable, and you see the parent looking embarrassed, smile and comment on how cute the baby is.

A thoughtful person is always quick to pay a compliment (especially to those who don’t often receive them), realizing the value it sometimes has beyond the obvious!

As you begin to pour your coffee at the local 7-11 store, and spot the next customer in line waiting for you to finish, pour the coffee into their cup first. He or she will be amazed (believe me) and delighted. They’ll have learned something as well, and possibly do the same for another person tomorrow.

A thoughtful person parks a bit further from the entrance to the store or the post office, leaving closer spaces for those not as nimble, not covered by handicap status, or REALLY in a hurry. You might ask, “Why should I do that? Nobody will know why I’m doing this.”

Two reasons: Number one, it’s the right thing to do, which makes you feel better about yourself, which in turn enhances self- esteem. Number two, as touched on earlier, by repeating thoughtful acts, they become habitual. Then, when it really counts, you’ll already be doing them naturally. Not only will you make the world a kinder place to live, but because of the precedent you’ve set with people, they’ll go out of their way to make you happy as well. Amazing how it works. Again, try it for the next 21 days. I guarantee you’ll see a delightful difference.

Bob Burg http:www.burg.com is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales, Winning Without Intimidation and The Success Formula.

He has a full line of books, ebooks and CDs from which everyone can grow and prosper. Check them out by going to http:www.burg.com , then click on the link to his online store. Bob also publishes a free weekly ezine to which you can subscribe going to http://www.burg.com/newsletter.html.

What Is Social Networking Anyway?

One of my Facebook buddies, Nigel Legg, recently wrote this Note:

I’ve read so many posts on Facebook and blogs and elsewhere about social networking that seem to confuse social networking with what we do on sites like this. Surely social networking is what we do everyday of our lives, whenever we talk to someone, whenever we meet someone new, whenever we develop a business relationship? In this sense, the stuff we do here is an add-on to what we do in the real world, and should not be confused with the real social networking we do at a cocktail party.

I started to respond, but Facebook limits the character space. (They don’t tell you; you just get cut off at a certain point!)

So, I’m posting my response here:

Great questions/points you raise, Nigel.

My two cents:

There are several types of “networking” that could all be lumped into two main categories: online and offline.

Social networking is just that – social. Business may arise out of the social connection, but the emphasis should always be on social first.

Facebook and MySpace provide online platforms that allow us to mix and mingle with people we know and people we don’t know… yet. Parties, receptions, and the likes do the same thing in person… except that when we leave, we may or may not connect with those people again.

Then there’s business networking. LinkedIn seems to be the leader in this online arena. And, there’s an abundance of in-person networking groups, clubs, and events for professionals in every major city.

Chatting at a cocktail party could be either business or social depending on the nature of the event.

For me, I subscribe to the concept “How you do anything is how you do everything.“ I’m not one of those pushy, aggressive, speed-networkers. As a natural Connector (defined in Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point) I know an incredible number of people. However, I take time to nurture and maintain relationships with those I resonate with most and those who are strategic contacts.

During this past holiday season, I attended a slew of social events – each one was casual, social. However, I tend to listen to people and ask questions from the standpoint of who or what do I know that could help them get to the next level?

So, for me, the lines are very blurred between social and business… and between online and offline.

Here are a few excellent books to support your social and business networking!

1. The Power of Approachability by Scott Ginsberg

2. Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazi

3. The Millionaire’s Handbook by Mel Kaufman

It’s like Zig Ziglar says, “You can get anything in life you want, if you just help enough other people get what they want.”

BTW, writing Facebook Notes is a terrific way of inviting participation, sparking discussion, and introducing new contacts to one another… simply by saying/asking something interesting and tagging certain friends.

« Previous Page — Next Page »